I'm tired -- I feel like I need to rest, but other things keep calling for my time and attention. The baby isn't napping well today. There are two loads of laundry that need to be folded (and since one load has sat in a basket for a few days, there's probably ironing to do, as well). There are dishes that need to be put away and dishes that need to be washed. There is a pile of paperwork on the table that needs to be filed. There is dust on every surface in the house. The kitchen floor is a bit sticky and could use a mopping. There are bills to be paid. The hamburger for tonight's tacos needs to be browned. There is an endless amount of organizing, de-junking, and ordering that needs to be done.
Is this the never-ending plight of mothers and housewives? You can't leave your stress at work because you are 'at work' 24/7. I keep wondering if I'll ever feel on top of things. Just when the house is finally beginning to look tidy, the baby begins to nap well, my eyes start to lose their sleepy look, something unexpected drops into my world and it all falls apart. Stress, stress, stress.
But there is something else that needs to be done, as well: I need to sit with my Savior. He has redeemed my life, it belongs to Him, so why is it that all these other things get more of my time and my thoughts? It is so hard for me to rest! I know the necessity of being with Jesus, I understand the implications of living outside of this rest, yet I don't fully believe it for some reason -- if I did, I wouldn't spend all my energies trying to control and subdue my little section of the universe. I would spend some, that's for certain, because this is the lot I've been portioned by God. But He would always get the first-fruits. Right now, I'm certain He only gets the scraps, if He gets anything at all.
This is no way to treat the One to whom I owe my life. How do I rest my eyes on the eternal world when the physical one is screaming for my attention?
7.27.2007
The First-fruits
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4 comments:
Hi Jamie - I am a friend of Bryan's. We have a 3 month old girl, Tabitha, and I am totally feeling ya! Bryan left a comment on our blog awhile ago and mentioned y'all would be in San Diego next month for a wedding. We will be out of town the 10-18, so hopefully the wedding is on another weekend. We'd love to meet you and Jones. Leave us a comment and let us know...www.jeffandkristy.com.
I've enjoyed reading about your ventures in Motherhood. Tell Bryan we say "HI".
Kristy Lindsay
Jamie, The nature of motherhood, especially young motherhood, is to do things in bits and pieces. Give the Lord part of your day, but that too will be in bits and pieces. He understands. I once read that Martin Luther began his day with 4 hours of prayer. I told my husband that he could do that because Katharina was taking care of the children. :)
Jamie, I believe you think a lot like me. We see all that needs to be done and are overwhelmed. Here is an idea or two for you. As a fellow Elisabeth Elliot fan, I encourage you to 'do the next thing'. But, while you are doing that one thing, do not allow yourself to think of the 100 other things which need to be done.(The work will never be complete. We die with unfinished tasks.) If other tasks come to mind let them go. While doing the one task, concentrate on it. Think of things this task can make you thankful for. (e.g. Thank you for my child who makes all this dirty laundry.) A line from the 'Valley of Vision' prayer book states, "Render every duty a spiritual privilige". This also helps. One other thing, make a 'Got Done' list instead of a 'To Do'list. Include every little thing you did that day. This will encourage you. God bless you, Jamie
Jamie,
I love reading your latest posts. It's like you're talking about me! You do such a great job of putting the frustrations in words. Hang in there!
Also, I just wanted to say that I loved your video of Brian balancing Jones on his hand that I had Kyle try it. I practically cried from being so proud and SCARED at the same time. NOW I wish I wouldn't have asked him to try it b/c now he balances Caleb all the time!
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